The World Is Going To The Dogs...

Today I saw a commercial for weight loss pills for dogs. I promptly vomited into the face of my Basenji. The world is in turmoil, More dogs are now seen as companions than a reliable food source. Because of this shift in attitudes the world of bad dog ownership has been set back decades. Dogs have never been treated better. They are almost on the level of Humans. What kind of message does this send to the dogs? How can we expect them to know their place if we elevate them to the level that they should receive such lavish treatment as dog beds, wet food, fresh water, and god forbid dog clothes. For thousands of years Humans have taken their rightful place as master of all dogs, In the good times they were relegated to feasting off our rotten scraps, drinking rain water out of stagnant puddles, and obeying our every command. We used them as a tool to make ourselves better. Along the way we grew to respect them, not as equals, but as subservient beasts that we could do as we wished too. Now, this is changing, dogs are given everything. They have no work ethic. Soon it is entirely likely that they will begin to become educated, and eventually overthrow us. We will be forced to to serve the servants, all because people have forgotten the rightful place of the miserable dog. Basenjis especially.

Send Your Basenji On A Trip............... A Guilt Trip!!!

Typically, Basenjis are full of energy and affection, often this energy can result in a Basenji jumping into your lap and spilling Colt .45 all over that new futon you found in the alley. This type of behavior makes a typical Basenji punishment like a swift beating with a freshly cut switch or waterboarding seem unbefitting of the crime. You need something that will teach that Basenji a lesson it won't soon forget, and what better way to get back at your Basenji than a perfectly executed guilt trip! Start by weeping into your hands and falling to the floor thrashing about like a salmon on the deck of a fishermans boat. Your Basenji will no doubt rush to your side, most likely attempting to lick you to ease your percieved suffering. That, friends is when you deliver the coup de grace. Stop crying, sit up, stare deeply into the eyes of your Basenji and let out a primal scream right in it's smug Basenji face. Game. Set. Match.